Politically Correct Dictionary

Actor: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth

Actress: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth (and occasionally great beauty)

Android: bipedal, non-human associate, bearing immense knowledge and skill

Bag boy: agricultural product organizer

Bald: follicularly challenged

Bomb: vertically deployed antipersonnel device

Boy: oppressor-to-be

Brainwashing: cognitive accommodation

Cafeteria: dining facility

Car: earth-unfriendly, vertically-challenged mode of transport

Car Wash Worker: vehicle-appearance specialist

Cat: quadruped non-human associate

Cheating: cooperative assignment

Computer: machine bearing immense power and fallibility

Criticism: unjust self-esteem reducer

Dead: metabolically challenged

Demand: propose strongly

Derision: nontraditional praise

Dirty Old Man: sexually focused, chronologically gifted individual

Dumb: cerebrally challenged

Evil: niceness deprived

Exercise: body enhancement through exertion

Failure: non-traditional success

Fart: human ozone depletor; ecologically incorrect expression

Fat: horizontally challenged: person of substance

Garbage collector: sanitation engineer

Gas Station Attendant: petroleum transfer technician

Girl: pre-woman

Guess: anomaly maneuvers: repetitive predictions

Handicapped: physically challenged

Heroine: hera

Homeless person: residentially flexible individual

Hurricane: himmicane (non sexist)

Ignorant: factually unencumbered

Incorrect: alternative answer

Individualism: uncooperative spirit

Information: overly structured trivia

Insane: reality challenged

Kill: creating a permanent state of metabolic dormancy; servicing the target (military)

Lazy: motivationally dispossessed

Lost: locationally disadvantaged

Man: oppressor

Manhole: maintenance portal

Misunderstand: personalized interpretation

Monster: person of scales

Mugging: unforeseen funding of underclass

Murderer: termination specialist

Nerd: under-attractive, cerebrally gifted individual

Numismatist: capitalist monetary acquisition expert

Nut: hexagonal rotatable surface compression unit

Off: energy efficient

Old: chronologically gifted

Perfume: discretionary fragrance

Pervert: person engaged in nontraditional espionage

Pissed off: satisfaction deprived

Political: amorally gifted

Poor: economically marginalized

Prisoner: client of the correctional system

Prostitute: body entrepreneur

Redneck: rustically inclined

Rich: economically maximized

Secretary: stationery engineer

Sex: cooperative physical fitness

Sexist: gender biased with niceness deprived overtones

Short: altitudinally disadvantaged: vertically challenged

Sleepy: under-alert

Smart: cerebrally gifted

Specialist: physician having concentrated on a particular field of tax shelters

Structure: impersonal hindrance

Tall: vertically gifted: altitudinally endowed

Teacher: volunteer knowledge conveyor

Teaching: personality repression

Television: medium of electrons moving in disorganized patterns

Tired: rest-challenged

Uglier: over under-attractive

Ugliest: over-under-attractively gifted

Ugly: under-attractive

Unemployed: non-waged

Unsure: conceptual conflict

Waiter: waitron

Waitress: waitron

White: melanin-impoverished; member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority

Woman: w/o man; womyn

Zipper: interlocking slide fasteners